Chairman Mao's Revenge

Last Tuesday I got the worst case of food poisoning ever. As a way of coping with it (and probably a result of the extreme dehydration that came with it) I jokingly looked at the situation as Mao Zedong striking at me from the grave. What better way to harm an evil American than by giving him a little taste of intenstinal bacteria? It hit me suddenly after I had finished school for the day. It is by far the most pain I've felt in my life. The sickness put me out of commission for the past week and I have only just recently begun to feel better. I wasn't able to eat for a few days and still can't eat much in the way of real food. I'm mostly limited to liquids. At least I will drop a few pounds for swimsuit season, right? Just kidding. What was worse than the constant throwing up was the dehydration. If anything got to me the most it was that. Up until now I had never been extremely dehydrated. Even growing up in Tucson it never got that bad because my body wouldn't reject liquids as it did this time. I was constantly weak and in a state of confusion. Aside from my brain feeling completely dried out I could swear I had slight hallucinations. One night, the worst night in particular, I woke up with a fever and remember thinking I was in my bed at home in Arizona. It took me a while of looking around to remember that I was in China. It was after that night I decided to go to an international health clinic with doctors from Canada, Australia and the United States. Luckily, a classmate had been there before and recommended I go there rather than a Chinese hospital, which I was fully prepared to do. I probably would have been okay going to a local hospital, but having the option of going somewhere more similar to the hospitals at home made me feel better. The SOS International Clinic hooked me up with oral rehydration salts because I could finally keep down liquid at that point. I spent a few more days in bed watching movies and reading. This whole ordeal has been nasty. If I ever get food poisoning again here I hope it isn't nearly as bad as was this time. I now look at all Chinese food with contempt, but unfortunately I will have to change my thoughts about it once I am able to eat again. It's really my only option here. I'm not upset though. In the end I emerged the victor. Nice try communist food, but it'll take a lot more than a dose of salmonella to get rid of me.