Chairman Mao's Revenge

Last Tuesday I got the worst case of food poisoning ever. As a way of coping with it (and probably a result of the extreme dehydration that came with it) I jokingly looked at the situation as Mao Zedong striking at me from the grave. What better way to harm an evil American than by giving him a little taste of intenstinal bacteria? It hit me suddenly after I had finished school for the day. It is by far the most pain I've felt in my life. The sickness put me out of commission for the past week and I have only just recently begun to feel better. I wasn't able to eat for a few days and still can't eat much in the way of real food. I'm mostly limited to liquids. At least I will drop a few pounds for swimsuit season, right? Just kidding. What was worse than the constant throwing up was the dehydration. If anything got to me the most it was that. Up until now I had never been extremely dehydrated. Even growing up in Tucson it never got that bad because my body wouldn't reject liquids as it did this time. I was constantly weak and in a state of confusion. Aside from my brain feeling completely dried out I could swear I had slight hallucinations. One night, the worst night in particular, I woke up with a fever and remember thinking I was in my bed at home in Arizona. It took me a while of looking around to remember that I was in China. It was after that night I decided to go to an international health clinic with doctors from Canada, Australia and the United States. Luckily, a classmate had been there before and recommended I go there rather than a Chinese hospital, which I was fully prepared to do. I probably would have been okay going to a local hospital, but having the option of going somewhere more similar to the hospitals at home made me feel better. The SOS International Clinic hooked me up with oral rehydration salts because I could finally keep down liquid at that point. I spent a few more days in bed watching movies and reading. This whole ordeal has been nasty. If I ever get food poisoning again here I hope it isn't nearly as bad as was this time. I now look at all Chinese food with contempt, but unfortunately I will have to change my thoughts about it once I am able to eat again. It's really my only option here. I'm not upset though. In the end I emerged the victor. Nice try communist food, but it'll take a lot more than a dose of salmonella to get rid of me.

Update

Hi everyone. I hope you haven't abandoned me. Sorry that I haven't written in a while. I think I can figure out a few more stories to tell, but for this entry I'll just update you with what's new here. First off I should mention the weather. For the past two weeks it has been rainy, cold, gloomy and even snowy. It's quite depressing. I've always appreciated the weather in Arizona, but being here with it like this makes me miss it even more. When I first came to China I thought that having to look at the sun through a haze of pollution was bad, but now I would love to have that back! It's not even so much that it is depressing that bothers me. I'm more bothered that I can't walk around the city and explore without being cold and wet. Apparently this is very unusual for this time of year. Oh well. Now that I have vented (whined) about the weather I'll talk about Chinese class. Four hours every day is no joke. I guess it actually ends up being about 3.5 hours with all the breaks we get. The class is divided into a comprehension section and a listening/speaking section. We have a different teacher for each section. A usual day consists of learning about 10 new characters, learning how to use those characters in a sentence, and then practicing how to properly pronounce those sentences. They stress repetition, which seems to be the key to learning this language. So far I am better at listening and speaking than reading and writing, but not by much. Since there is no alphabet you have to forget everything you know about language and start from scratch. One good thing about Chinese though is that the sentence structure is really simple. For example, if you want to ask someone to go to lunch with you it literally translates into the question, "Lunch?". It's almost as if you are talking like a caveman. "I hungry. I want eat" is a grammatically correct sentence. That explains the reason Chinese people speak English the way they do. Being in China makes all the difference when learning the language. After class you can go to lunch or go to a store and practice what you just learned. As of now my conversations are extremely limited, but maybe someday I'll learn how to say something other than "Hello. How are you?" or "How much does this cost?". Not knowing the language isn't all bad though. It forces you to express yourself through other means, which is a good skill to have. Sometimes things don't need to be spoken to be understood. Last night I went to a bar that's owned by a guy from Tennessee named Jimmy. It's a good spot to hang out, play pool, have a beer, and enjoy some decent American food. While I was there I met a couple local guys and played them each in pool. The first guy, Leroy, works there and speaks English fairly well. I played him and won the first game, which was close, and then basically got shutout in the second game. It was like playing a completely different person. It's a good thing I didn't get cocky and put money on the table because he would have cleaned me out. Getting hustled in a game of pool isn't high on my list of things to have happen to me while I'm in China. After I got crushed by Leroy in the second game I played the other guy, whose name I didn't catch. He didn't speak any English at all, but we still had a great time. We probably played for about an hour and I didn't lose to him once (a couple of those times he scratched on the 8-ball, but a win is a win). They were all hard fought battles though. My favorite part about playing him was dealing with the language barrier. Whenever we would miss an easy shot we would get excessively angry to show each other our discontent. We would shout obscenities in our native tongues and then try to repeat what the other had just said. If either of us sank a lucky shot, or made a really difficult one we would pat each other on the back and flash a big smile and thumbs up. We would get really excited if the game came down to who could make the 8-ball first. If we couldn't figure out the best shot to take we would help each other by pointing to a ball and then showing where to hit that particular ball. We quickly and easily established the rules through miming. A scratch resulted in removing a ball from the pocket and then placing the cue ball anywhere on the table. You had to call where you which pocket you wanted to put the 8-ball in and if you didn't make it in that one or if you scratched you lost. And finally, my favorite, the loser always racks the balls for the next game. The experience was great and showed me that there is much more to human interaction than just words. At the end of the night we shook hands and both left knowing that we have many more games left to play. I asked Leroy if that guy is a regular at the bar and he is. I plan to go back sometime soon and show him the finer points of pool once more. In closing, I'd like to mention the time I spent playing pool with my grandpa because this was the first time I have played pool in a while and it brought back some good memories. As soon as I was old enough to play on my grandpa's pool table (tall enough to see over it and steady enough to not mar his table with the cue after each shot) we would play every time I visited. We would listen to music on his jukebox, have a bottle of coke, and talk about things. The conversations changed as I aged, but the environment and feeling of playing pool never did. Grandpa had his sayings he would use depending on how the game was going. He had his phrases for winning and losing, or making shots and missing shots. When my grandma would walk in the room he would tell her one of two things; to stay (if he was winning) because was good luck or to leave (if he was losing) because she was bad luck. I still maintain that she was always good luck for me, so I was happy to have her stay in the room for as long as possible. Other than the sayings I picked up I also remember the advice about the game. He taught me to how to play the game, how to properly shoot, and how to aim so I could put the ball where I wanted. The reason I bring this up now is because as I was playing the Chinese man I found myself saying the things my grandpa would say for any given situation. I could hear him giving me tips about which ball to go for or if taking a certain shot would result in a scratch. I even sang some of the songs he would sing as we played. For some reason I had the strange urge to order a coke from the bar. Even though I am many miles away and in a foreign country it felt just like old times. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything. Grandpa, if you're reading this, thanks for the training you gave me. We should play a game for old times sake when I get back, but I should warn you that I'll probably be a lot better than before. Maybe we could put some money on the table? I'll have to ask Leroy to teach me how to hustle people...

Born to Dance?

I was born to dance...in China. Anyone who knows me or has seen me out on the dance floor can vouch for the fact that have no ability to move my body to a beat whatsoever. For starters, there is no movement below my waist, which is apparently crucial to being a good dancer. I've heard that it's all in the hips. That means all I have left to work with is my upper body because moving my hips is a lost cause. Moving your upper body to a beat seems simple enough, but I manage to botch that too. I have a knack for nodding my head a lot when I dance, so what I end up doing is a weird sort of torso sway mixed with nodding my head to the beat. I still haven't quite figured out what to do with my arms during all of this swaying/nodding, so they mostly just hang around. Sometimes I'll lift them up and see if I can work any magic with them, but I quickly realize that they are much better at just swaying awkwardly with my torso. Bottom line: It's not pretty. This fact has been hard to cope with because given my background with music it would make sense for me to at least be a decent dancer. Somehow keeping time on a musical instrument, which I am pretty good at, doesn't translate into moving your body to a beat. Who knew? So to go back to my statement that opened this blog I have to point out that while I am an atrocious dancer back home I get treated like royalty at the clubs here in China. It turns out that most Chinese males are at the same skill level of dancing that I am (the stereotypes are true), but since I am an American I have some sort of special power. That special power is being able to fool people into thinking that I am a great dancer and that all the moves I do are what ALL Americans do. Popular culture here is definitely modeled after us, so they love any chance they get to see us in action. It is strange enough just walking into a club in China because everyone immediately takes notice of you. Any employees in the area practically run up to you and see if you need anything. As weird as it is going into a club it is even crazier out on the dance floor. The first club I ever went to and danced at was by far the best experience I've had while going out so far. It took a couple drinks for me to work up the courage to get out to the dance floor, but I eventually made my way to where the DJ was playing music. I started my attempt at dancing along with the other Americans that were there with me. Everyone turned towards us and carefully studied our moves. A couple of us caught on to this and quickly abused our newly discovered stardom. I lifted my right arm up and started moving it in a circle just to see what would happen. No sooner than I made the first rotation with my hand did I see one or two Chinese guys doing the same thing. Awesome. I started doing some completely random leg movements and some more guys quickly followed suit. I continued to move in ridiculous ways and watched as more Chinese people emulated my dance style. I started to feel guilty for doing this after a while, but then I thought to myself that I am entitled to such behavior since I can't dance back home without looking silly. It was all in fun. From reading this you might think we were just toying with all those people, but it wasn't like that. At no point during the night were any of the people in my group condescending towards the people we were dancing with. On the contrary, we were all very humbled and taken aback by what was happening. It was hard to discern who was having more fun; us or the Chinese. We all enjoyed the cultural experience and began to make friends. Something else I learned that night is that it is completely acceptable for males to come up to you and start dancing with you. The first instance of this happened when I was dancing near my friend Ian. All of a sudden a really drunk Chinese man came up to us and put one arm around me, one arm around Ian, and proceeded to sway with both of us. Ian and I just passed this off as drunken behavior until some sober guys started doing the same thing. It wasn't too awkward because none of them made a pass at us, but it was definitely not something that would be socially acceptable back home. Another lesson about China is that it is theoretically possible to not pay for a single drink all night when you go out to a club. This is usually true for females anywhere, but it is surprisingly the same way for American males here. All you have to do is work your way over to a table with a large group of people. Give them a nod, flash a smile, wave, and start dancing. Throw a few high-fives in the mix and you're golden. From there you need to point to a glass, mime that you are taking a drink, and you will be presented with a full glass of whatever those people are drinking. Next you say cheers, enjoy a round of drinks, hang out for a little longer so they don't get suspicious, and then be on your way to the next table. Works every time. It sounds more devious than it actually is. Those are perfect opportunities to meet the locals and practice Mandarin. Lots of these people are more than willing to teach you Chinese in exchange for teaching them English. We have all made a couple Chinese friends from going out and I hope to continue that trend throughout the semester. The nightlife is definitely a force to be reckoned with over here. It could easily consume any college student, but so far we haven't let it get out of control. Besides, if I go out too much I'll have to learn new dance moves to show everyone. And I'm running out of ways to flail my arms like an idiot.

Back to School

I was rudely awakened on Monday when I found myself in a strangely familiar place. It had rows of desks all facing the same direction. There were a bunch of people much like myself who were clearly surprised to be there. I think it's called a classroom, but I can't be sure. It's a place where you are forced to listen to someone lecture for a couple hours and are expected to retain some of the information they give you. It's all very strange, but I feel like I have been there before. It must mean that my extended vacation has come to a close. I finished last semester midway through December and am just now starting this one, so I have forgotten what it's like to have to wake up at a certain time each day and go class. And I was getting used to this whole "traveling" thing! The past week has been a good start to what I think will be a great semester. So far I have only taken my political science courses, POL 464: East Asian Relations and POL 460: International Relations between the U.S. and China. Both courses are taught in English by a UA professor. Dr. Onate is more than qualified to teach us these classes given his background. He spent many years working as a Foreign Service Officer for the State Department, 7 of which were at the U.S. Embassy in Beijing. He has also worked on the White House National Security Council, has served under U.S. Senators, and spent a short time as the Director of the Asian Business Region for a little company called Lockheed Martin. On top of it all he has been teaching at the University level for about 20 years. I am honestly amazed we have the opportunity to learn from such a great resource. Even the first classes have been packed with valuable information about China that I couldn't get anywhere else. Needless to say, I am extremely excited to continue learning throughout the semester. It changes things immensely when you are taking classes on subjects you are passionate about. There is a downside to all of this, however. Next week I will be starting my Chinese Language course. It wouldn't be bad, but the class is every weekday for 4 hours each day! Just to be clear, let me say that again. From 8AM to 12PM, Monday through Friday, I'll be sitting at a desk trying to learn one of the hardest languages in the world. I guess that's the amount of time you need to put in to make it worthwhile, but I really hope I don't get overwhelmed and burnt out. Luckily I am only taking 3 classes as a result of the intensive language course, which should help lessen the workload. It still amounts to 16 credits this semester. Aside from that I have looked into teaching English at local schools and have heard of a couple of paid positions. Apparently you don't have to speak any Mandarin at all because the kids you teach English to just need to refine their language skills rather than start from scratch. I hope to become friends with some of the students so that I can practice Mandarin with them. Other than that I will keep exploring the city and enjoying the time I have left in this program. This trip is a much needed change from the typical college experience I have had so far. Don't get me wrong though. I have loved every minute of my time at the UA in Tucson, but I always felt the need to do something different for a while. Studying in China definitely takes care of that.

Shanghai

Hi everyone. I made it to China safely, but haven't been able to access the internet for a while. The flight went well and even though it was ridiculously long I slept for a lot of it and had a 3 hour layover halfway there. I flew in to Pudong Airport in Shanghai where I met the rest of the students in the Yangtze International Study Abroad (YISA) program that I am part of. I got in at about midnight and then stayed in a hotel for the night. The next day we toured the city together and saw some museums and an amazing Chinese acrobat show. In most of my other blogs I mentioned how amazed I was at the age of most of the places in Europe and how it trumps the United States. Well, China trumps Europe in that department. Not only have they been around for a long time, but they have been developed for much longer than most civilizations. We looked at some artwork, sculptures, pottery and other artifacts that are about 6,000 years old! We also saw a cool exhibit about jade, which is a trademark item of China. It's fascinating how long ago they made the technology to cut and shape jade. When other people were still hunting and gathering, the Chinese were carving jade with sophisticated tools. After the museum we went to lunch and had Cantonese style food. It was all very good and the only thing noteworthy is that I tried chicken feet. Turns out that chicken feet aren't that tasty. At least I gave them a chance. When lunch was finished we walked around the city some more and really got a sense for how huge it is. Shanghai is the host of the 2010 World Fair and as a result they are heavily upgrading a large portion of the city. We visited a museum dedicated to explaining all the upgrades that are currently in progress. The buildings they have planned are pretty amazing. The designers are addressing the fact that they have very little space to work with, but so many people to accommodate. As a result, the city is growing upwards rather than outwards. This is all happening with the newest and best construction materials and technology available. Once we left the museum we headed to an auditorium to see some truly talented acrobats. These men and women were very skilled and performed some amazing feats. A lot of it involved intensive concentration and balance. Some of it just involved luck it seemed. They had to have practiced from birth to be that good. After the show we were all still heavily affected by jet lag, so we called it a night and went back to the hotel. The next day we took a train to Nanjing, which is where I'll be studying for the next 4 months. My apartment is very nice by American standards, so by Chinese standards it is one of the nicest places to live in the entire city. It's amazing that YISA could offer us these great places to stay. I am meeting up with some people to get dinner soon, so I'll write more about Nanjing soon. Hope all is well.

Down and Out in Paris and London

Although my time in Paris and London has been nothing like the George Orwell novel this trip has nearly bankrupted me! Both cities are ridiculously expensive. Munich was a little better, but still on the pricey side. With that being said, it was money well spent and this trip has had value that I can't put a price on. I have seen unbelievable history in all the places I have traveled. The architecture is unique, the buildings are generations old, and the cultures offer so much that I've never been exposed to. I have spent hours walking through museum after museum and still not seen enough. On top of it all I have met some great people. It's hard to believe that it has already been a month since I arrived in London and started traveling. My time in China will probably fly by, so I'll do my best to take in as much as I can while I'm there. I have to get going to the airport now to catch my insanely long flight, but I'll write more as soon as I can. Thanks for sticking with me this far. I hope the next 4 months are just as good!

Bryan vs. the Steak

For my last meal in Paris I decided to splurge. I was pretty hungry after visiting the Notre Dame Cathedral, so I walked around until I found a little cafe that looked like it had a traditional French dinner. Honestly, I have no idea what a traditional French dinner consists of, so it's quite possible what I had was far from the typical French cuisine. By European standards it was pretty early for dinner and when I walked into the restaurant it was completely empty aside from the waiter and the chef. Is it bad that I was excited the restaurant was empty for the simple fact that I'd get my food faster? I know you have felt that way at least once in your life. Don't deny it. The waiter practically sprinted up to me to hand me a menu. To avoid my "deer in the headlights" look I get whenever someone tries to talk to me in a foreign language I asked him, in one of the four French phrases I know, if he spoke English. He excitedly said yes, but that he only knew a little. That's one thing I've noticed about lots of Europeans. They say they can only speak a little bit of English and then they hold a perfect conversation. I guess they like to set people's expectations low and then surprise them. I told him that it was my last night in town and that I wanted a traditional French meal to get the full Paris experience. Without hesitation he suggested I get the steak dinner, which came with potatoes, green beans, mushrooms, salad and bread. Sounds pretty standard, but all those things were prepared differently than I'm used to back home. I could probably do a better job at describing what made each of them different, but like I said before, I don't really know anything about food other than I like to eat it. He also recommended a red wine and even though I hate wine I opted to have a glass. I was determined to get my French experience, dammit! (pardon my French...hahahaha. Sometimes I amaze myself with my wit). The meal was promptly brought out and it looked amazing. However, the steak was by far the largest single piece of beef I have ever seen. This thing dwarfed any steak I had ever eaten in my life until after that night. I wish I got a picture of this thing. I thanked the waiter and went to work on my meal. Everything was perfect...except for the steak. Now, I know I am going to get a lot of crap for admitting this, but I don't like my steaks too rare. Medium is fine with me, which is how I ordered it. As a man I'm supposed to want a steak that still has a pulse and is bleeding profusely, but that just doesn't taste good to me. Aside from being the largest steak I have ever seen it was also the least cooked I have ever gotten. This was definitely the sushi of steaks. "Medium" in French must mean something along the lines of "cooked for 30 seconds". Not wanting to be an annoying American tourist I decided to buck up and eat my food. Besides, I still had the other parts of the meal to look forward to. They were all delicious. The steak was going down okay and actually tasted pretty good, but another problem presented itself. It seemed like all the bites I took weren't diminishing the overall quantity of meat on the plate. It was a regenerating steak. The worst kind. I tried giving it the cold shoulder and favoring the other portions of my meal, but the steak still lingered. I tried to cut it up into tons of teenie tiny pieces to create the illusion that I had eaten more than I actually had, but it was no use. The waiter, Christope, would know I was a failure. Even the faceless chef, who I could only imagine was laughing at me from the kitchen, would know what a wuss I was. With the other parts of my meal gone I was completely full and still had half a steak on my plate. It was no use. The steak had me in a corner and I couldn't eat my way out. It was just too plentiful...and too raw. The only option I had left was one I employ in times that require desperate measures. I used my napkin to cover the remainder of my food with it. I know you have all done that too. It wasn't so much to stop the waiter and chef from seeing the leftovers because they would see them anyway. It was to help myself cope. I had to be at ease with the fact that it wasn't an American steak that defeated me, but was something much worse. It was something no man should ever get beaten by. French food. It hurts just saying it. There had to be something left inside me. I needed to rally behind something. Suddenly it came to me. I needed to order desert. If I could eat an amazing French desert and still walk out of the restaurant I would be a hero. I asked Christophe what he recommended and again, without hesitation, he told me to get the chocolate cake. I agreed. It came in a matter of minutes and I was ready. I tore through that piece of cake like you wouldn't believe. The taste was sensational. It was covered in warm chocolate sauce and surrounded by heaps of whipped cream. Phenomenal. I managed to finish it all. It felt good. Actually, it felt quite terrible because I had to urge to throw up. But it was a mental relief. I could go home happy knowing that although I had lost my dignity to a French steak I could still hang on and eat desert. I am proud to have represented America in that little French cafe. Christophe and that chef will talk about this for years to come. They will tell their grandchildren of my heroism, who will in turn tell their grandchildren. My name may be forgotten, but the legend of "the man who couldn't finish his steak but then miraculously recovered and had the chocolate cake" will live on forever.